sexytimes

Oh, I have been pretty much the worst blog writer EVAR. It’s ok though, I’ve been filling my days with work and bike rides and awesome books and music-playing and journal scribbling, so I don’t feel too bad about neglecting the internet world.

Sometimes, though, I can’t help but notice some things.

1. So, how about people co-opting queer identities, huh? This gal, for example. I don’t know whether to laugh mean-spiritedly or just froth like a latte made of pure hate. While the original white privilege checklist is a useful tool to point out the (subtle or obvious) ways that racial discrimination plays a role in a person’s life, and people have certainly used that template to start good conversations around other axes of power (class, gender, what have you), it seems like some people are so fucking desperate to attach an oppressed identity to themselves that they just come up with lists of petty annoyances which they’ve reclassified as “oppression” (for instance, the god-awful “Adult Privilege Checklist” floating around which gets all indignant about children having to wait for food in restaurants and not having a say about how their houses are decorated). Yes, asexuals are marginalized to some extent, and there are all kinds of awful popular ideas about sexuality floating around these days. HOWEVER: you don’t have to be asexual to be marginalized by fucked-up cultural ideas around sexuality – just because someone has a sex drive doesn’t mean that they aren’t harmed by the ideas that (for example) dudes are automatically entitled to women’s sexual attentions; or that a certain set of identifiers (being lower class and/or being of a certain ethnicity, for instance) indicates a voracious sex drive; or that any kind of non-conventional sexual identity needs “correcting.” And sorry, but it’s NOT “oppression Olympics” to point out that while queer folks have been mocked, fired, persecuted, beaten, and killed for being queer, that kind of widespread, brutal oppression has not happened to asexuals. Yeah, invisibility sucks, and can make a person feel awful. It’s also not the same as, y’know, constantly fearing for your safety.

And seriously, how ignorant is it to talk about “sexual privilege” like sexuality is seen as this universally awesome thing? Last I heard, queer folks being open about their sexuality doesn’t go over too well, and a lot of the time queers are ENCOURAGED to be asexual so they don’t give in to their filthy urges. What about people who are maybe not conventionally sexy, whose desire is deemed joke-worthy and disgusting? Maybe don’t attempt to write a privilege checklist when you clearly have not been thinking about how privilege plays out in the vast world of human sexuality. (Also gross: the person who wrote this telling queer folks expressing anger about her identity appropriation to “shut the fuck up.” Seriously?)

2. And the Crunk Feminist Collective wins again, for this post on SlutWalks. While I am in favor of the stated aims of these walks, something about them left me a bit unsettled but I couldn’t think of anything intelligent to write about it, and the Crunk Feminist gals did. ALSO! Actual good discussion happening in the comments. GOOD DISCUSSION. IN COMMENTS. ON THE INTERNET. Awesome.

3. How much does Angel Witch look like Spinal Tap? Whatever, I love this song.

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~ by Smellen on May 27, 2011.

One Response to “sexytimes”

  1. I’ll see your worst blog writer with my worst phone-tagger!

    Anyway, “oppression Olympics” indeed. C’mon. A lack of recognition is not oppression, nor does a demand for recognition necessarily help those who are oppressed. To create solidarity as such requires much more effort, and much less concern for personal validation.

    The CFC commentary on Slutwalks seems completely related.

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