cheap laughs roundup

I read this and was pretty sure I was just going to laugh forever. It’s not intentionally funny, mind you, but if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t mind having a chuckle at a dunce (and if you’re reading this blog, you probably are), it’s comedy gold. Basically: “I AM A ‘MINIMALIST’ BECAUSE I OWN SLIGHTLY FEWER ITEMS THAN THE AVERAGE YOUNG, HIP URBANITE. ALSO, DESPITE THE FACT THAT I PRATTLE ON ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MATERIALISM I WILL MAKE DAMN SURE YOU KNOW THE BRAND NAMES OF MY BIKE, COMPUTER, NOTEBOOK, BACKPACK, ETC.” Somehow this dude has published two books. I can’t decide if this depresses me or makes me chuckle even more – a little from column A, a little from column B, perhaps.

Also, I am beginning to find Sarah Palin’s level of stupidity literally unbelievable. I mean, this has to be a performance-art persona, right? It’s just getting too weird to be real. And no, Sarah, it’s not a “singular issue.” It’s most of them. I’d tell you to maybe read up on feminist thought a little, but then I remembered your bizarre contempt for the printed word, so fuck it. I’ll just start referring to me and my feminist lady pals as a “cackle of rads” because that’s hilarious.


~ by Smellen on August 18, 2010.

5 Responses to “cheap laughs roundup”

  1. Dammit, someone already registered “”.

  2. So he’s got a bike (a Surly, mind you) and a helmet (brand? brand? the suspense is killing me!) but no pump, or patch kit, or panniers, or chain lube, or anything else?

    You can be minimalist like him if you’ve got enough money to pay other people to do your maintenance and repair, I guess.

    • Yeah, I figured he was probably bullshitting about that. Even if you don’t want to do your maintenance yourself and have the money to avoid it, who the hell wants to go to the bike shop for every single little thing? I’m not much of a bike tinkerer but I at least keep chain lube, spare tubes, tire levers, and a pump on hand, so I can, y’know, keep my bike in working order.

      I’m not going to knock having a Surly, because they’re awesome bikes (albeit expensive). Though if I was gonna get one bike to be my main mode of transport, I would have gotten a Long Haul Trucker or a Cross Check – much more versatile in terms of terrain you can tackle and shit you can put on there (panniers, fenders, water bottle cages, etc). The Steamroller’s a great bike and all, but single-speed bikes on anything besides flattish city streets are not a whole lot of fun. Then again, all those gears and brakes and shit probably interfere with his minimalist aesthetic.

      • Oh, I’m not knocking the Surly, I’m knocking the guy who insists on name-checking his Surly. 🙂

        (I’m currently yearning for a Yuba Mundo cargo bike. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, a build-it-yourself bamboo bike. One of these days…)

  3. You know you’re in trouble when you’re bragging about how minimalist you are. Sllliiiiiiight contradiction there.

    This actually reminds me of the attempts to “out-humble” one another at Flatbread, but there, everyone was JOKING.

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