patriotic people put ya hands in the air

My roommate Paul made me watch this when I was very drunk (damn you, Victory Storm King stout, with your delicious flavor and potent 9% alcohol by volume). Meet right-wing rapper Hi-Caliber:

You’re welcome. I recommend “Bring the Noise” as a palate cleanser.

Oh man, internetz, you should have been there. Health care reform is a subject pretty close to my heart, since my mom’s life has been pretty fucked up by her MS diagnosis and sometimes not having enough money to get the care she needs. So, when this asshole describes socialized healthcare as a “universal nightmare,” I started pointing at the screen and screaming things like “this ASSCLOWN with STUPID FUCKING FACIAL HAIR does not give a SHIT about my MOM because he would rather have her DEAD than pay more TAXES. I want to SHOOT HIM with a SNIPER RIFLE in front of EVERYONE HE LOVES.” (See, not all lefties are anti-gun.)

See, I like making logical, airtight arguments. I like getting all my ducks in a row and lining up examples and citing sources. I don’t think that “I just feel that it’s wrong” holds any water. But I’m not going to pretend I’m entirely cold and Vulcan; some things do move me to yelling. Sometimes even when I’m not plastered. This is why I haven’t even been following the health care debate – I know it takes me about five minutes to lose my shit and start screaming when some smug fuck starts talking about how his precious dollars are too special to be wasted on some undeserving poors who don’t want to be ill. Yeah, talk to me how you have to wait a year for a pap smear in Canada. Right now I have to wait forever, since I have no insurance and can’t pay out of pocket. Go ahead and ramble about “lifestyles” and how you don’t want to subsidize people who are bad with money, because that is totally the only reason why people are poor. I will happily listen for a little bit, and then either back away slowly, gritting my teeth, or screech at you until my throat gives out. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.


~ by Smellen on December 3, 2009.

One Response to “patriotic people put ya hands in the air”

  1. I’m not even gonna watch that, I’m laughing too much already. “Hi Caliber,” eh?
    Right wing caricatures aren’t necessarily more funny than lefties – Onion blurb: Chardonnay Vomited Into NPR Tote Bag (this broadcast from sunny Northern California, land of Really Nice People Wearing Ethnic Shawls) – but right-wing caricatures sabotage themselves a lot faster.

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